Mental Health Matters with Rashad Bowtie Mills

Rashad Mills is an accomplished License Clinical Professional Counselor, Speaker, author and Podcast Host.

He is responsible for assisting clients as they navigate many of the challenges that life presents them with.

Prior to taking this role, Rashad worked closely with many young people in Baltimore City in various roles, including a paraeducator in the Baltimore City School system, and a mental health professional at the Baltimore City Juvenile Center. Rashad has always combined his life and educational experiences to empower the people he serves.

Rashad is a product of Baltimore City and Baltimore County Public Schools systems. Rashad earned his Bachelors of Arts in Telecommunications from Morgan State University and his Masters of Science in Counseling from Johns Hopkins University.

Register for the Summer 2023 hackathon and camp offerings at www.wearabletechventures.org

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Transcript

00:04.89
wearabletakeover
Hello hello hello welcome to season 2 of wearable takeover you know what? we really should have something to celebrate you know with like the little bazookas or something like that. Um, but we are excited people guess what we got through 2022 when we lost wearable takeover and I was just looking at some of the notes that I created when developing this podcast and there were components that I wanted to incorporate that we did not incorporate because we were just trying to get our feel. For how we were going to bring on our guests and work with the platform but let me tell you something we're going to introduce some of those components that were in the original plan in season 2 so what does that mean? Well, there's going to be 2 new components to the wearable takeover podcast show. Number 1 you're going to be able to share your thirty second elevator pitch with us. Yes, so if there is a product that you would like to see us develop within our wearable tech ecosystem. You're going to have the opportunity to look in the show notes and pitch that product to us so that we can work with you or develop it on your behalf perhaps in one of our hackathons. And then we are going to also showcase a platform where we showcase a products that you can find on Amazon 1 of our premier partners and we're going to ask your opinion this or that so we'll provide some of those products we want to get your feedback.

01:34.76
wearabletakeover
If you were in a position to purchase one or try one out which one would you try out sounds interesting right? Well, don't worry about it again. All of that will be available in the show notes and especially when we get all of our social media back up because you know we got hacked right? Yeah I know we didn't make that too public. But anyway we. Are back and I am super excited because we have one of the premier talented mental health therapists that's going to help us 1 assess what we did in 2022 and help us prepare and thrive in. 2023 notice I didn't say stri notice I said thrive and this is Baltimore's own Rashad Mills he is an accomplished licensed clinical professional counselor speaker. He's a powerful speaker guys. You got to check out his social media an author and he's a podcast. House. We got to check out the episode we did together like a couple years ago is amazing Rashad Mills is responsible for assisting clients as they navigate many of the challenges that life presents them with and I know within our ecosystem when we talk about our focuses on the underrepresented founder. Those that are underestimated. You already deal with a lot of challenges so rashat is going to help us ah identify some of the things that we can incorporate as well as some of the mechanisms that we can deal with so that we can face life head on and be successful with it. But let me.

03:05.83
wearabletakeover
Tell you something prior to ra taking on his role as this multi hyphenated counselor speaker author and podcast host. Um, he worked closely with many young people in Baltimore City and a lot of different roles and he was a paraeducator in the Baltimore City school system and so he was all. So a mental health professional at the Baltimore City Juvenile Center so rashad has always combined his life and educational experiences to empower the people he serves and I'm so honored to know Rashad I've seen him in action. He is a product of Baltimore City and Baltimore County public school systems he earned his bachelor's of arts and telecommunications from Morgan State University and his master's of science and counseling from Johns Hopkins University in his spare time. You might find him spending time with his adorable twin daughters working out reading a good book. You know watching sports or. His favorite pastime napping. Oh you know what? let's give it up virtually everybody for rasad mills rashan how are you.

04:10.75
Rashad Bowtie Mills
I am exceptional. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much for having me I'm exceptional I'm honored to be here.

04:18.63
wearabletakeover
I'm so happy to have you here and you know raha before we even get into all the clinical stuff and you know helping people navigate the new year and and there's a lot of events that have happened recently in media right? So we're definitely gonna touch on that. but but I kind of know what has been your. Favorite book of 2022? Yeah I like putting people on a spot.

04:36.53
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Oh that's a really really interesting question. That's a really really interesting question. Actually I'm gonna I'm gonna go from a a different perspective in terms of my my favorite book for 2022. It was an audio book and I'm an old school guy like to have the physical book in hand and it was called can my child play and it was a book by um, a gentleman and I know if you're familiar with in 2019 his son George Mcnair

04:58.19
wearabletakeover
Oh.

05:09.70
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Was a young football player at the university of Maryland and unfortunately he died as a result of heat stroke and I connected with his dad and we were you know said hey I think it would be a great story for you to come on and talk about the resiliency that you had as a father to continue life after your son has passed and all of the challenges that you had to go through. Um, legislation passing new bills um dealing with these stuff at the university of Maryland when you found somebody was at fault and quite a bit of neglect um was ultimately resulted in your your son passing and sort of this this incredible spirit of. How do I go on with my life after burying my son and it was a phenomenal audio book can my child play about four or five hours long and I started listening to it and I literally couldn't stop like I took my kids to school and was listening to it. You know, went back in a house and I was listening to it and it was like literally. It was so very powerful and impactful and that the main takeaway for me was when we are faced with trauma and tragedy. We can do 1 or 2 things number 1 we can allow ourselves to be completely absorbed by it and not make any forward progress as a result of it right. Or we can do 2 We can allow ourselves to experience the trauma right sit in it but yet find out how we can take this very tragic moment and and turn it into a bit of triumph right? and and sort of switch the the tables around and this gentleman did it by starting the Jordan Mcnair foundation

06:37.61
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Um, he goes across the globe really educating people on heat related illnesses students athletes coaches and I think it's just a phenomenal story and again as a parent myself you mentioned twin girls like I could not imagine Lakeishia bearing my kids I could not imagine to know get a call and say hey you know. Have to pull the plug or what that next day is like or going into you know a funeral and your baby is there but yet still having this spirit of um resiliency and I know I'm using that word repetitively but just that that was at this incredible spirit of resiliency and so that was.

07:01.62
wearabletakeover
Yes.

07:16.52
Rashad Bowtie Mills
That was my favorite book That was my favorite book. Um, just for a variety of reasons but can my child play.

07:21.71
wearabletakeover
All right? So that sounds that sounds interesting I mean you educated me just now and I have seen the mcnair foundation tables at many conferences and exos or whatnot so they are definitely out there doing the work and again with ties to Maryland as.

07:31.18
Rashad Bowtie Mills
I have.

07:39.87
wearabletakeover
If you guys don't know we are a global ecosystem. We have founders in 4 continents but we were founded and we are currently still in Maryland Baltimore Maryland. So thank you for that read you said something pretty interesting. You said allow yourself to feel the trauma and let's just you know, kind of back it up a little bit.

07:49.45
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Ah.

07:59.75
wearabletakeover
We're transitioning or by the time our listeners hear this it will be 2023 we've already experienced the pandemic something that we've never seen before maybe our great grandparents or grandparents. You know may have experienced the flu.

08:02.60
Rashad Bowtie Mills
This.

08:16.83
wearabletakeover
Pandemic or epidemic that happened you know over a hundred years ago but this was the first time we've experienced something like that and that was traumatic on many different levels and so when we think about what we're dealing with here with developing and driving innovation. Especially as again.

08:22.85
Rashad Bowtie Mills
The roof.

08:33.79
wearabletakeover
Underrepresented underestimated founders What? that really means black brown female other genderdered other otherly abled there's a lot of bias. There's a lot of discrimination. Um impotor syndrome et Cetera So there's a lot of trauma.

08:37.89
Rashad Bowtie Mills
No.

08:50.70
wearabletakeover
So if I were to make a sandwiches like trauma on trauma on trauma on trauma. So how can one feel the trauma and come out on the other side successfully.

08:51.96
Rashad Bowtie Mills
And.

09:03.93
Rashad Bowtie Mills
That's a great question So when I say feel the trauma. Um and you may hear the term give the trauma space I think one of the greatest disservices that we do is when we have traumatic moments. We try to rush through them because we don't want to feel that level of discomfort.

09:07.79
wearabletakeover
1

09:18.76
Rashad Bowtie Mills
And the human body is designed what to do anything to avoid pain. Let's think about it any kind of trauma that we experience whether it's divorce whether it's grief whether it's some physical ailments certainly mental Health Ailments. We do anything anything we can to avoid it and always encourage my clients to think about give yourself space to. In the trauma understand what it is and understand that it is a process understand that I can't push my way through for an example I couldn't push my way through this global pandemic and just get to the other side. I had to sit in it understand what it was and then slowly but surely begin to make adjustments and work towards Acceptance. So One of the things and I'm kind of jumping around here. Um stages of grief and the end stage of grief is acceptance.

09:58.33
wearabletakeover
Ah, music.

10:06.49
Rashad Bowtie Mills
And it's accepting that the fact that I can't change what has already occurred but I'm trying to accept the fact that it has occurred but I'm trying to develop new healthy ways in order to deal with it. So the pandemic being an example I think a lot of people wanted to go back to I can't wait till this is over.

10:22.33
wearabletakeover
Are.

10:24.40
Rashad Bowtie Mills
And I would encourage a lot of clients. Well what if it doesn't end much longer than you expected. So now we have to say I Can't wait till it's over but let me now adjust to what's my new normal. My new normal says that this is what I'm going to be dealing with right? the stores of clothes and for some of us. Maybe the finances of change and. You know kids are home and your wife when your but husband is home I have to find these healthy ways to adjust to it and that's what I'd say sitting in the trauma as opposed to trying to force our way through it and I think it's very important to understand that trauma is not designed to be this very quick thing.

11:00.72
wearabletakeover
Who.

11:03.91
Rashad Bowtie Mills
I Mean we really have to understand it. What can we learn from this situation. What can we change? What can what some certain certain things. We can't change right and understanding how to deal with it. Um, as opposed to let me just bypass this and get to the end because if that was the case.

11:12.96
wearabletakeover
Um.

11:20.78
Rashad Bowtie Mills
I Don't think that we would be the people that we are if we can bypass all the traumas that we've ever experienced because I think there's so many life and lessons and you know what I have to go This is sort of my go through if you will and I think it's important to understand that as opposed to hey let me just get to the other side.

11:30.58
wearabletakeover
At the.

11:38.77
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Not really it just doesn't work that way again. Even though the human body is designed to I don't want to feel discomfort at all cost.

11:46.25
wearabletakeover
You know I like how you said sitting in the trauma trying not to bypass it and that important word process and it's just like if you're going to the gym when you first start, especially after you had a hiatus after the holidays and you've just been sitting around.

11:54.34
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Yes, yes.

12:05.24
wearabletakeover
That first workout may not feel so good right? and you may not feel like you want to go back. But then if you keep going back. You'll notice if you're consistent that you'll see some improvements in the way that your body responds to it and I don't want to oversimplify it because when we're dealing with trauma where we're dealing with emotions. It could be a lot more than that.

12:06.62
Rashad Bowtie Mills
The.

12:22.25
Rashad Bowtie Mills
This.

12:24.30
wearabletakeover
But the main piece here is that of the process and oftentimes we glorify the end result whereas the glory is really in the journey. It is in the journey. So even if we're comparing from an emotional.

12:34.77
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Ah.

12:38.94
wearabletakeover
Ah, perspective and a mental health perspective even to our founders and even our investors. Um, Ultimately, everybody's looking for their unicorn. They're looking for their pot of gold at the end of the rainbow but often when you hear most successful people. The the proof is in the pudding. During the journey during a process so when sitting in Trauma. What advice do you have for our listeners and for our ecosystem and our founders as far as um, things that they can do in that process as they're sitting with it. Is it something that they should be talking to someone. Is there a certain f frequency should they be writing something you know what? what should they be doing well.

13:20.46
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Well number one I think um, identification right? I think it's very important that we identify. Um, we identify that something is wrong and I think a lot of us when we talk about Traumas We know that things are wrong I think our body. Our body will alert us that something is wrong. But I think there is this that still unfortunateize the stigma that you know what something is wrong and I'll just kind of push my way through it and then we normalize living with this trauma so sitting with it and living with it in my mind is 2 different things completely right.

13:50.27
wearabletakeover
Oh wait wait wait wait wait slow down slow down that was that was Jims right? There raha was jo from Jim so you said living with it and sitting with it are too totally different things.

14:00.10
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Yeah, living with it to me says long term that I have made this a part of my long term my entire life I'm just going to live with this particular thing sitting with it means says that it's. It's momentary in nature but it's momentary but yet I'm making progress I'm sitting with it but yet I'm identifying that something is wrong and I do have the ability to change it living with it says this is my new normal for the rest of my life right? So number 1 identification you said should we talk to somebody absolutely.

14:21.30
wearabletakeover
Ah, then.

14:33.96
Rashad Bowtie Mills
I think that for you know we're talking about black and brown people and we're talking about um men and women in different spaces. No matter what the space is so we're talking about a tech oriented space today I think that this is very important that we understand that there are so many avenues for us to get help. I mean so many avenues and I think as black and brown people we have to take advantage of them because it's no longer hey this is for white privileged America Therapy I think that it's there right? It's it's literally there for us to take advantage of all kind of programs for us to take advantage of therapy. We see these commercials with.

14:59.99
wearabletakeover
The.

15:12.12
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Representation is still not where I would like it to be but you see people that look like lakeishia and rushsha on commercials talking about hey I had a bout a depression I had a lot of anxiety but yet due to this particular app or this therapist now I can get better. So yes identification so we identified and then we take action that means. To to see a therapist right? Psychology today is a great It's a great resource. There are therapy for black men therapy for black girls is ah is another resource and there's so many resources where.

15:38.66
wearabletakeover
Um.

15:44.90
Rashad Bowtie Mills
In terms of representation I could see somebody that looks like me that I feel like that I can relate to that I can go talk about what I'm actually dealing with and once you in um, in line with that person then as a therapist our job is to give the individuals that we work with tips tools and strategies. To help them navigate the trauma. It's not to be judgmental. It's not to change the person. It's to say hey lakeishia why did you come to therapy hey Rasha this is what I'm going. This is what I'm dealing with and my job is to help walk you through this therapeutic process by providing you these tools because no matter the trauma. Don't think individuals have to live with it forever and I don't think to be honest with you. They have to just sit with it by themselves sitting with it means you know what my therapist is the person that can sit with me while I navigate this very traumatic time.

16:28.84
wearabletakeover
Ah, yes.

16:40.20
Rashad Bowtie Mills
So it's very important for your listeners to understand that sitting doesn't mean just by yourself that it means you know what I'm sitting with it but my therapist or another turing professional of some sort can sit with me and help me navigate this this process.

16:54.82
wearabletakeover
I love it you again? drop so many different gems and we're going to talk about those tips tools and strategies additional things that we can incorporate but I need to talk to the ecosystem really quickly because often if you talk to me directly or so somebody else has talked to me. They know that I am incredibly protective of our founders and I like I likened it to being Motherhand of all of the wearable tech founders and it's getting to the point where I can no longer do that one on one. So I'm able to amplify that notion of taking care of the ecosystem through this platform.

17:12.93
Rashad Bowtie Mills
And.

17:30.30
wearabletakeover
Through the wearable takeover podcast and that's why it's so important that you're not only listening to these episodes but that you're sharing them and rewatching them and taking notes and following up with professionals that I have right here because I trust these people I've known these people for years and let me give a personal example. So. While building this wearable tech ecosystem mean if you you can look at all the articles where the ideation started coming about in 2015 started with the self-unding in 2016 but I actually started this as a result of being on my bed and recovering from surgery. Okay, that's number 1.

18:01.47
Rashad Bowtie Mills
And.

18:05.28
wearabletakeover
Number 2 while going through this process I was also helping to care for my grandmother out of state and then she passed away in 2017 So I took a break So when people talk about why did it take so long. What was happening so in the midst of that while trying to work as many of our founders do because many of them are unable to. Focus solely on their startup so they have to work on another stream of income and then juggle that dynamic right? but then also dealing with family dynamics and so you may not be taking care of your grandmother. You could be you know, caring for a spouse. You could be caring for children or other family members. That's a real dynamic.

18:28.83
Rashad Bowtie Mills
The.

18:42.99
wearabletakeover
And so I benefited from going to grief therapy and so I went to in-person as well as virtual grief therapy and then to add to it at the end of 20 Let me see this was 2022 so at the end of 2021 my lion sister passed away from cancer.

18:59.58
Rashad Bowtie Mills
We.

19:02.12
wearabletakeover
And my advisors that all of our main advisors from wearable tech ventures. They were aware of what was happening because I communicated to them so I want to share this with any advisor um any mentor. Um, any company or Investor. Um. I Need you to develop a relationship that is Beyond surface level with our boundariers especially in this time frame because one we're people we're human, but then also things are changing rapidly and ultimately this is home Wearable tech ventures.

19:20.55
Rashad Bowtie Mills
That.

19:36.32
wearabletakeover
And this where we'll take over a podcast is home and so we need to make sure we're taking care of Home. So Rashan What advice do you have for our investors for our advisors um other coaches within our ecosystem. What are some things that they should look for. If they start to notice a change in behavior and how should they address that because I will tell you that my key advisors. They just say hey we noticed a change are you? Okay, you need to take a break.

20:06.64
Rashad Bowtie Mills
I Think it's really looking for that right changes in behavior right? Behavioral changes. So if a person is normally one that um you have a lot of access to them and all of a sudden you notice that this person is isolating more or they're withdrawing more or the quality of. You know there there were changes at all right I Think that's very important I think one of the biggest things that we can do is reach out and I know it says some of the people may say rashhada I've won something more in depth. But I think reaching out is one of the basic things that we can do so you talk about that you were going through right? Some things.

20:22.63
wearabletakeover
Written.

20:41.47
Rashad Bowtie Mills
If you hadn't made people aware nobody would have known what lakeishia was doing So I think it's reaching out and um hopefully I'm not stealing your thunder by going to this place because I think we'll talk about it later on this gentleman twitch the deej. Hopefully I got this name correct that um what if somebody had reached out.

20:42.51
wearabletakeover
Yes.

20:50.17
wearabletakeover
Yeah, yes, yes, yes.

21:01.36
Rashad Bowtie Mills
And you know we all assigns indicate that you know he was still happy and everything was okay, but to me as a therapist sometimes I think there are signs that are there but we just don't know him until after the fact and it may be just the text message. It may be just the phone call and again. Sometimes people present one way and they have a different internal experience. What leads them to go down that unhealthy and unfortunate path of dying by suicide but I think it's so incredibly important that we do reach out now. We talk about tech spaces and people that are entrepreneurs that. A lot of the work that they do ah by themselves they are working late hours they're up early in the morning and they're not a lot of them are not going into a 9 to 5 office where people can instantly see a change in Lakeishia's behavior you know what develop a list of people that hey I need to reach out I developed list. Where you know I'm gonna reach out this person having heard from you I'm gonna reach out and I'm going to um, go beyond allowing you to give me surface level answers man how are you I'm good. Well what does that mean I go a little bit deeper and I think a lot of times people are waiting for people to call them and go to that place. But we don't like I don't allow my clients to say and it's like a running joke between my clients and I um, how are you I'm good I always say what does that mean your food is good but how are you and it's going a little bit deeper. So for the people that are listening if there's somebody that you know, um that they haven't talked to.

22:23.31
wearabletakeover
Yes.

22:33.70
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Um, that's in this entrepreneurial space particularly because a lot of the work. It's done by you know themselves reach out. How are you can we meet for lunch and don't allow people to give you surface level answers Now. It's not that you become overly intrusive and nosy. But I think sometimes we gotta go a little bit. A little bit deeper asking about how's the kids. How's the family how the business and one of the things that I challenge all of my clients to to do with other people is ask the question.. What do you need from me. How can I show up for you. How can I show what? how can I show up for you.

23:04.60
wearabletakeover
As 1

23:09.84
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Because by asking a question or what do you need from me now what I have done is I haven't allowed you to give me just a surface level answer I have placed the onus on you to give me something a little bit a little bit deeper.

23:22.60
wearabletakeover
Oh wait a minute hold over shot. So maybe we need to have that as like a quarterly reminder have you asked how how can I show up for you. That's such a powerful question.

23:34.69
Rashad Bowtie Mills
I can not show up for you. What do you need from me and now I'll share something really quickly. Um, and how important that is just say 21 actually twenty one days ago three weeks ago had prostate cancer surgery and I had the surgery and again I'm I'm a therapist and um the the practice that I work for hopeful counseling my dear sister Dr Luise Stevens owns a practice phenomenal mental health practitioner. Just a great person just she's a sister to me and the following.

23:48.58
wearabletakeover
E.

24:07.42
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Day get out of surgery come home and she she calls me and she said hey what do you need and me you know my initial reaction is I'm good and she said for shot I'm not taking.

24:12.55
wearabletakeover
The.

24:21.74
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Literally she said I'm not getting off this phone until you tell me what you need and how can I help you and she put me in a position where my pride I had to put my pride to the side and you know what right now I can't stand over the stove and and cook just okay, well let's do some door dash. It's on me you door dash the rest of your meals.

24:25.70
wearabletakeover
M.

24:40.89
Rashad Bowtie Mills
And just sort of that that thought hey what do you need? How can I be of service. It put me in the position where I had to answer now of course I could have said well well nothing but it's like that question is different as opposed to are you good? Yeah I'm good. What What do you need? How can I be a service I just wanted to share that it's like it's so important that we show up for each other. Um and we can we talk about entrepreneurs I'm a contractor I don't go into ah office the majority of my time I embo myself in front of a screen with the client if I'm not with a client then.

25:01.82
wearabletakeover
With.

25:16.80
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Umm in the house by myself and so those check-ins that people were man you know I'm gonna call you are you good? What do you need? Some people would just stop and buy man. No yeah, search it means a world of difference I'm sure a lot of people that are listening to this this this podcast again. The entrepreneur space is really challenging.

25:32.38
wearabletakeover
Yes.

25:34.33
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Because a lot of times. Um, it can cause you to be isolated. It can cause you to have some late nights and some early mornings you know, Maybe we don't know where that next check is coming from I have to show up and produce in order for you know me to receive income. So it's it's mental Health is there for everybody.

25:44.45
wearabletakeover
You name.

25:53.51
Rashad Bowtie Mills
But I'm so glad you invited me on and I know I'm talking but I get excited about this is that for people that are classified as entrepreneurs or contractors. It is a little bit different and I started to notice it for myself pandemic even moving up until this time I mean I'm I'm in the house most of the time.

25:57.30
wearabletakeover
Um, yes.

26:11.30
wearabletakeover
1

26:12.50
Rashad Bowtie Mills
You know with my clients and I have to force myself to go out and you know walk around the neighborhood get exercise and and all of these different things. So I know I talked a lot but.

26:21.45
wearabletakeover
I Love it What we're going to recap but you you you spoke truth you spoke facts that our audience needed to hear and so let me just address healing wishes were sending them one way and so you have family here at wearable Tech adventures and.

26:34.29
Rashad Bowtie Mills
I Appreciate it.

26:41.22
wearabletakeover
So we're gonna make sure we check on you and see if there's something that we could do to maybe even develop ah on your behalf as you are as you are matriculating through your journey. So one of the key things you mentioned for our advisors our investors and whatnot right? and and. Let me just say this before before I go into the list this these are folks in position of authority if you will so might consider that and so what I'm basically put in the onus on these folks who do is to be a little bit more humble during this season and I know oftentimes. We want the founders reaching out to us. We want to see how many times they're going to reach out and ignore their emails. We're not doing that here at wele tech ventures. Okay so I need the the mind to shift the culture overall is going to shift. We're a different type of ecosystem. Often when I talk to founders and you'll hear it on one of our very first podcast episodes. 1 of the founders said you are the first investor that was truly interested in me as a founder and so that's something that we want to not only introduce but uphold we need to uphold that culture here. So rashha I heard you say develop a list right? So you're saying develop a list for checking in and some of that checking may not even be. You may be developing for like a relationship for getting to know someone so that check-in could be sending some information and relevant to that.

28:09.62
Rashad Bowtie Mills
I know.

28:12.34
wearabletakeover
Founder or what the type of work that they're doing to develop that rapport right? It could be oh I heard you say this? So I saw this let me share this with you. It could be checking in and saying you know how's your progress going for for q 1 right? Do you need me to look over something.

28:26.28
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Her.

28:30.30
wearabletakeover
Um, providing that space where that founder doesn't bill all alone. Okay, so I heard you say that? um, checking in what else am I missing key questions right? key questions and those 2 key questions again are.

28:38.86
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Next? yeah. How can I How can I be of service to you and what do you need? What do you need from me.

28:50.38
wearabletakeover
How can I be of service to you and what do you need from me so those are key questions that I would like to see us all employ um, 2023 and Beyond and then for our founders and for folks that are innovators you you may not be the founder. You may be an innovator work and want a team. Um, or maybe you're aspirational in that Realm ah is very important that you schedule some time for yourself. Yeah, some blocks of time to get outside and see the sunlight during the pandemic I would text and and call my advisors. And say I'm just getting out of the house I'm only driving around the block a couple of times but I had to get out of the house and we would laugh about it but they knew that I had to do something to make sure I changed my environment. So Those are some simple things and then of course you can meet us on the app but I got to give them a shameless plug we shot and and maybe you'll have to join us if we use that book as one of our features for our ah founders and leaders book and podcast club but that's a virtual environment. Where you don't necessarily have to work about what you're doing day to day in your business. You'll get some tools for personal development but it's a community and so I think it's incredibly important that sometimes you take a little brain break from working on that specific problem coming to a community that isn't so much pressure.

29:56.19
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Ah.

30:07.31
wearabletakeover
Um, and so that you can release and then find people or just have have a regular conversation and then go about your day so we're Shot. What are some other examples of community that perhaps our ecosystem can look into and you know what are some ways that they can develop their own community as they're navigating through this this. These unforeseen times.

30:28.74
Rashad Bowtie Mills
That's a great question and so and in terms of community. Um, obviously you can start with family and friends right? but you have to be very careful that the community with family and friends. It's the one that you want right? family and friends can have some negative some negative slash toxic parts there so you just want to be mindful.

30:38.56
wearabletakeover
Yes.

30:45.30
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Always tell people to start community the closest community that you have because I think it's the easiest they're more accessible that they're right there right? and so family friends if you have religious institutions religious groups that are part of your community I Think that's extremely helpful. Um.

30:52.11
wearabletakeover
Are the.

31:02.37
wearabletakeover
Yeah.

31:04.98
Rashad Bowtie Mills
I like because I'm yeah, a really active guy I like the community of movement the community of movement gym anything that's considered health you know helpful it's a gym it's it's it's swimming um you know I got a road by glasier and was on on the road and and met guys that I would wake up in the morning Saturday mornings we ride the bike Fifteen Twenty miles and so all of these different things are communities that we can find but I think with community I think that we have to initiate it a lot.

31:31.64
wearabletakeover
Yes.

31:33.67
Rashad Bowtie Mills
So a lot of times. It's people say well I don't have access to a community I think you do but I don't think that you have made the necessary steps to put yourself in these positions and make yourself vulnerable enough to be exposed to these communities I think they're communities out there right? there certain communities on social media if that's interest that you have. Right? Google it. There's you know all kind of communities. Um, socially that are right in our respective neighborhoods that we haven't taken the time to even research so those are some ideas um that I would think community and here's the other thing too with community. It's always important to like. If you can partner up things that you are interested in and find the community. So if I am interested in if I wanted to find and I'm just making this up. You know a ah black girls tech community um in my neighborhood. Maybe I can you know I can Google it maybe there's one.

32:12.32
wearabletakeover
Who.

32:29.25
Rashad Bowtie Mills
You know in in the neighboring cul-de-sac I don't know but you know Google it's a community and plus it's something of interest and if I can merge what I'm already interested in and then I can find a community that has that same interest then that's like that's. That's really really healthy because I think all of us need these outlets you talking about getting the car and driving around a block on a pandemic I think that we all need them entrepreneurs. We need to be able to step outside of the house and you know find that find that community whether no no matter what it is I think we all need those healthy.

32:49.14
wearabletakeover
In this.

33:04.14
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Those healthy healthy outlets.

33:04.38
wearabletakeover
I Love what I Love all the gyms that you just dropped again and let me put a little shameless plug in here Rasha So in those original notes when we were planning out the podcast and it and I wrote the vision for it. We were originally supposed to have a pre-show in the metaverse. So. For of you listening and you might be saying hey I don't have a community and perhaps you're interested in that in joining us as like a pre-show host or or hostess or whatnot let us know over here at wherebo Takeover podcast so that we can get that roll in as well. So It's really Fun. We can even attend concerts and things in there.

33:39.89
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Um, with.

33:43.70
wearabletakeover
Um I know being in the meta are sure to keep my sanity during the pandemic but you know going back to some of those examples. We've had some recent tragedies and there's tragedies that are happening. You know every day from you know, istes and parks and grocery stores. But then even folks that you know ultimately.

33:45.27
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Heaven.

34:02.38
wearabletakeover
Suffered in silence too long and and like you said Twitch and then there was the Kelsey I believe her name was she was the miss americor or the miss usa you know? um so with her demise so ra shot what are some things that we could look.

34:10.40
Rashad Bowtie Mills
I have.

34:20.94
wearabletakeover
For I know I know you mentioned if people become withdrawn. But for those that tend to have a smile on her face right? because we know that being in this innovation space. It can be a pressure cooker. There's that there's a lot of juggling um and of course founders know typically that those that.

34:32.54
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Mohan.

34:40.78
wearabletakeover
Upbeat or what you know they want to be the energy that that the that the advisors and investors want to be around. But I think there's also a space for truth So that was a loaded question because I'm you know I'm just thinking about it as as we're Talking. Um. But is there a way to identify you know a particular challenge with someone who may be smelling all the time or is it just is that just not possible.

35:06.97
Rashad Bowtie Mills
That's a great question and it's a load of question but it's a good load of question here's why if I'm going to be 100% honest with you I don't think that you can identify everybody who is actually suffering because there are those individuals that you know you see him every day and they.

35:15.82
wearabletakeover
And.

35:23.80
Rashad Bowtie Mills
It almost looks like that they are living the greatest life imaginable Everything is working in an ideal manner but deep down inside. They are suffering so you don't know and so that's why I think that it's so important just to have the random check-ins.

35:37.51
wearabletakeover
So.

35:39.66
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Because that random check-in could be the difference between that person smiling right going to a place that it's unfortunate and they can't come back from as opposed to them not actually going there because you just don't know now again.

35:42.11
wearabletakeover
Yes, yes.

35:55.12
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Typically you know you do the research how to identify that somebody is um, you know potentially a candidate to die by suicide it could be this person is withdrawn and all these different things that we can. You know we mentioned earlier but that's not always the case. It is the individual who. Appears to be upbeaten. Looks like they have the perfect job and the perfect house and the perfect kids in marriage and all of these things and that's the individual that's going to go to that unfortunate place. So I always encourage people I think just the general the general check-ins because you I mean you really never know there are some things that are more obvious and. Um, visible in in some people but that's not the case with a lot of people and for some reason I don't know why I just came up in my mind Robin Williams this sectional comedian. Um, you know financially he was you know a Hollywood superstar.

36:30.67
wearabletakeover
And who. Um, yes, yes, ah yes.

36:45.24
Rashad Bowtie Mills
But we never knew that he was you know although the laughter was a facade for obviously the pain that internal pain that he was experiencing So There are some people that were just not going to be able to pinpoint and across the board in my circle again I have some people that without fail I'm going to check in on you regardless of. How many great social media posts you have I'm going to check in because maybe that could be the difference in saving a life.

37:06.99
wearabletakeover
Ah, yes.

37:13.19
wearabletakeover
Absolutely I love it and so we have founder ambassadors who kind of service the representatives of you know the founder innovators within our ecosystem and so I encourage you to reach out to them if you can't reach me or somebody else. But if if someone notices a change in Behavior who should they contact. You know whether they're the one that's identifying something that's one and then 2 if someone themselves feels like that they need to reach out for help Where should they go.

37:40.99
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Got you? So if you notice that a person that's a change in behavior and you have the rapport with that individual my my first thing would be let's see how we can get this individual in in therapy and I'm not expecting anybody to act as if. They are a therapist but if the individual if you feel that individual is unstable and we're talking about suicidal homicidal ideations. Anything of that nature in their respective area 3 1 1 emergency petition. It's not an instance where the police will come out as if it's you know a crime has been committed but they can come out. Um, and with emergency petition literally and I would say a score but assist this person in going to a facility um typically about 2 or 3 days right? A so a psychiatric facility many hospitals have a portion of the hospital for it or they might just be a separate place for it. And get them stable first and foremost that's what we're talking about a short making sure that that person is stable now if an individual presents themselves if they're having some challenges but you feel like they are not the threat to themselves or anybody else, then it would be working with that individual to get into.

38:35.92
wearabletakeover
And.

38:53.40
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Um, a therapist asap and I know that's a much longer a much longer process but it's really, it's not a middle ground. It's like if you're unstable, let's get you in to make sure that you are secure enough to to be alive number 1 and then if you do present as being stable enough. How can we get you to. Through a therapist and again some of the avenues right? psychology today therapy for black girls therapy for for black men. There's a wonderful organization that I was a part of called um men to heal where they provide um pro bono therapy.

39:27.16
wearabletakeover
Um.

39:30.48
Rashad Bowtie Mills
8 sessions to men. Yeah 8 sessions to men and then if you decide that you want to stay connected with that therapist after the eighth session then it would be a matter of insurance. Um, this a wonderful organization I've been able to to work with them and so there are a bunch of organizations out there. So.

39:30.92
wearabletakeover
Ah, really.

39:39.81
wearabletakeover
Now.

39:48.75
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Really is and again I don't want anybody to play the role of a therapist but it's best you can assess is this person safe in this moment because if you feel they're not safe in that moment the 3 1 1 to get them to um you know a place where they can be properly taken care of and try to get them stable.

40:06.70
wearabletakeover
I love it in 3 one 1 is it for those of you in the us that's the number that you can call if you are not in the us again rashat already presented some other options such as psychology today and other organizations where you could check their website and look for.

40:07.20
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Asap.

40:24.66
wearabletakeover
Some emergency contact numbers there in that instance. So I think that's incredibly helpful reshha.

40:31.58
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Lakeish can I just jump in for one second because I would be remiss if I didn't say this um 9 8 8 as well. That's the suicide. That's the sort of this national suicide and crisis. Um lifeline 9 8 8 and it was a big moving because it just it literally just changed recently. So 9 8 8 that's the national suicide prevention line obviously 24 7 3 65 so 9 8 8 if you feel like that an individual is you know, completely. Um, unstable. You don't have any options. 9 8 8 is something that I encourage everybody listening to the wearable take over podcast to have embedded in your mind. Um because that can be really really helpful. Yep.

41:12.76
wearabletakeover
That's wonderful. So 3 1 one and nine 8 8 and of course we're not done rasha but what is your do you have a website or where people can find you if they're like you know what? we'd like hearing this guy we want to talk to him some more how how could him reach.

41:26.88
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Yeah, yeah, absolutely the best way to reach out to me I'm just so open in can with everybody I'm actually giving everybody my email address for the practice that I work for I mean immediately at immediate access. Um, it's Rasha R A S H A D at hopeful h o p e f u lcounseling dot org hopefulcosing dot org um that is the email address email me if you are interested in therapy potentially speaking engagements whatever that may be. That's probably the best way to contact me and I make myself available i' andnna turnaround time is pretty quick. And I always try to get back to people um in a system in any way I can so reshhad at hopefulcosing.org and obviously um, social media vershad botop mills on um, and for people listening why the boatop vo ti is just like it. It took a life of its own at some point so it was like rahavotopmills. It's like my unofficial middle name.

42:15.10
wearabletakeover
Are.

42:23.60
Rashad Bowtie Mills
But certainly you can find me there on Instagram and then Facebook and then you can see daily I'm dropping motivational messages as well.

42:29.41
wearabletakeover
Absolutely and I love that. So that's the resource I wanted to get to you know let's let's talk a little bit more about Rasha Botai Mills because he has an amazing amazingly inspirational social media presence and. If you're someone that might be going through a transition. Maybe you're apprehensive about the new year or you know facing a challenge of of raising ah ah around and you know you could be filling that pressure go visit his page I promise you. There is some message whether it be on his main page or in his stories that will uplift you whether it's coming from his lips or something else that he is sharing I want to call him like our male Oprah but.

43:16.56
Rashad Bowtie Mills
This Um I'm going to receive it. You get a car. You get a car you get a car I'm going to receive it.

43:21.24
wearabletakeover
Ah, and I love it then he was doing the running itself. But then you over shot. You also have a book. Yes, you have a book and we're at work. What's the name of your book and where can folks get your book.

43:28.28
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Um, yes, yes, yes.

43:32.62
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Yes, you can go to amazon.com to get my book. My book is called inmate 4 5 8 6 2 7 a man's story of Mental Health Love hurt and healing in 20182019 I had an incredible incredible life altering experience.

43:41.97
wearabletakeover
So.

43:51.84
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Um, and I'm going to be honest, I'm a very candid person I actually went to jail for one hundred and one days and it you talk about humility. Um, and how this experience shaped me. Um it. It just changed me for so many reasons. So many reasons for the better but it's incredible experience. And I think when people actually get the book. They can see that um you can overcome anything you can literally overcome anything and it's about your perspective about the situation I just said this really quickly when I went in I'm just like I'm shook I am literally like shook what in the heck has happened. And my thought instantly became I refused to let my story in this way so a month in I begin to literally write the book in my mind and I began to take little pieces of scrap paper and little what they call a flexxiin. Youre not allowed to have a you know a full fedged pin in the jail uses weapon and I would take this flexxi pen in at night.

44:44.37
wearabletakeover
This will.

44:48.72
Rashad Bowtie Mills
You know in the dark I would scribble notes about my experience and and it just formulated itself into the book. So I never view my experience now. It's like I went to Jail it's like ah but it's like I went to Jail and I became a author as a result with experience. So it's really not. It's really not what you go through. It's.

45:00.31
wearabletakeover
Um, yes.

45:08.13
Rashad Bowtie Mills
How you turn that for your greater good and and that's how I became a author.

45:12.24
wearabletakeover
I love it and we have many examples of folks that have been able to turn lemons into lemonade when you look at example of Nelson Mandela when you look at the example of Dr Martin Luther King Jr um and you know his letters from Birmingham.

45:16.78
Rashad Bowtie Mills
And they. Within.

45:26.72
wearabletakeover
Actually that has been referenced and there was a Ceo Accelerator we just completed and that tool was referenced that's something that most entrepreneurs and business owners should look at and study as they're developing their strategies and developing their goals for the new year and so. You know what? there's something else. You don't know this rashat. But folks here if you are in the dmb or if you're in la or whatnot. There's an organization called the gathering spot and so it's like a private club focused on African-american Professionals and entrepreneurs and there was a tech founder.

45:51.42
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Earth.

46:02.57
wearabletakeover
Who has been making waves and I cannot remember the name of his company but I do know that he did something where um it it allowed you to take photos put it on Postcards and the premise was to send them to your loved ones incarcerated and he came up with a concept because he himself was incarcerated.

46:15.78
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Have.

46:21.80
wearabletakeover
And he was incarcerated for 5 to 7 years and now here's this man that has raised millions of dollars as a startup tech bounder so you turn he was able to turn that pain and that position into something of promise and so.

46:23.22
Rashad Bowtie Mills
And.

46:29.80
Rashad Bowtie Mills
And.

46:40.24
wearabletakeover
For those of you that are listening regardless of what you may be going through. You may not have the exact same background. You may not have the exact same scenario. But ultimately what are you going to do in that process and so there are so many resources. There are so many success stories. Um, but it all happened.

46:52.49
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Um, my.

46:59.80
wearabletakeover
In the process. So if you're still breathing. Don't give up in the process. We one one nine a 8 email rasha reach out to an accountability partner or just be really vulnerable and I and I want to challenge everyone to practice that vulnerability and that humility.

47:02.40
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Um, run.

47:18.51
wearabletakeover
Because it's going to help. You is also going to help us and ultimately our ecosystem is going to be one that will be the model for others to model right? as we move forward. So rasha you know I always love chatting and talking with you. Um. We could go for another hour I know we could just sitting here chatting it up is' always a great time and so I'm might ask you on air because I ask people a lot of things on the spot. But I would love for you to come back and work with us this summer as we're dealing with our youth. We have a youth camp and a hackathon and so that's gonna be hybrid in person and virtual.

47:38.16
Rashad Bowtie Mills
At home.

47:55.64
wearabletakeover
So would love for you to work with us as we you know, develop that again this summer and in addition to that. What are some key takeaways or some or some last minute notes of wisdom that you can share with our listeners.

48:12.29
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Sure number one I would I would love to be a part of that working with the youth in any capacity. So my answer will be unequivocal. Yes, um and I would just want your listeners to walk away with by the time they hear this will this will be 2023

48:16.78
wearabletakeover
Thank you.

48:26.58
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Just want people to know that it's very important to monitor the nature of our thoughts. Um 2022 was the most one of the most challenging years that I ever endured in my life and I noticed that when i.

48:32.68
wearabletakeover
Um.

48:40.24
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Felt better about what I was Experiencing. It was really based on the nature of my thoughts and very quickly I'll just say this. There's a principle cognitive behavioral therapy and it's a simple connection of based on how I think dictates how I feel and then subsequently I behave and it's all connected to the thought to monitor the nature. Of your thoughts and be prepared to reframe your thoughts and find the good in every situation and it's not a cliche that's the difference in those that do make it as opposed to those that don't It's the nature of our thoughts. Yes, yes.

49:12.35
wearabletakeover
As a man thinketh so he is respond I'm so excited again. Can you repeat your social media handle and your email address. So folks can reach out to you.

49:24.79
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Sure rashha a a rasha d at hopefulcosing.org. That's the best and most effective way to reach me via email and then social media rashad boiee mills yes boai um, just like the this like the the fashion statement rasha Boie Mills Instagram and Facebook and yes if you if you're in need of motivation I try to drop messages every day sometimes 2 or 3 times a day just to give people encouragement.

49:53.44
wearabletakeover
I love it. So for ecosystem builders. Um, if you need a speaker I highly recommend rashha Boaiai Mills make sure you reach out to him for some paid speaking engagements and then we'll also place a link to your book in the show notes for asad. And then you know what cheers to a new year you know I gotta ask you 1 more thing before we go. What should some folks do because you know people say new year new meet right? And so there's no new you in a new year unless you really have a strategy that goes along with those vision boards goals and aspirations right? um.

50:10.10
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Sure sure.

50:27.50
wearabletakeover
But what do you? What's 1 thing that you recommend folks do to prepare for the new year whether it's new year's eve new year's day or it could be February it could be March right? What's 1 thing that they could do so.

50:40.72
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Sure that's a great question is actually a message I'm a drop later. Um I think we spend so much time focusing on this. You know this cliche as you stated the new year the new me I'm ah cut this person off I'm not bringing this in and I think it's space and value for that. But. What if the new year was your launching pad that was your opportunity to take flight and you had destiny assigned to the new year and destiny is like I'm getting on a plane and I'm going to a new place. We spend so much time focusing on what we can't get through tsa as opposed to you know what. Focusing on what I need to bring with me to get on this new plane that I'm going in in in the space. It's so much. Um, so much of that time is I'm not going to do this I'm not going to do this. But what if we double down on what I am going to do or what I want to take with me. There's some valuable things that you learned in 2022 that I want you to take in 2023 but yet we're still in this space that I'm not taking this and I'm not taking that and I think that that's like a scarcity mindset. Let's operate from a place of a surplus this went well in 2022 despite whatever you went through. And I could still take these things into 2023 and double down on the things that really went well and I'll say this and I really get excited about this and and the reason why this is so knee and dare important to me is because we don't understand the value of thought.

52:10.50
wearabletakeover
Yes, yes.

52:12.46
Rashad Bowtie Mills
There are some things that really went well for everybody listening to the wearable takeover podcast in 2023 and I want to force you to focus on what went well as opposed to what didn't go well because if I do that and now what I'm saying is you know what I can't.

52:23.33
wearabletakeover
Yes.

52:30.61
Rashad Bowtie Mills
I can't take this through Tsa traveling into this new year however I can take this and I want to double down on the positives as opposed to the negatives.

52:40.97
wearabletakeover
I love it focus on the positives and come from a place of surplus or abundance. Both are you excited for season 2 the wearable takeover podcast oh make sure you check us out. Um, and you know our social media.

52:46.96
Rashad Bowtie Mills
Um, yes, yes I am I yeah.

52:58.56
wearabletakeover
We're still getting that back up folks. So ah, you'll see some tags as to where to find us but you can always find us on Linkedin under wearable tech ventures. You can always find as wearable tech ventures on Instagram and our other social media pages will be back up or by the time you hear this you could go ahead and just. Look for it and look for my name or look for one of our sponsors. Um, and you'll see some tags to the episode. Are you ready Rashad. Let's go. Thank you so much folks.

53:23.73
Rashad Bowtie Mills
I am ready I am ready.